27 weeks.

Everything is going swimmingly with me and Baby McGee at 27 weeks. The belly is growing into a jolly round basketball that occasionally itches like crazy. My weight gain is still on track, though a tad alarming to hear that I gained seven pounds in the last four weeks! I'm feeling mostly fine, just a little tired from the constant sleep interruptions from my bladder and the stupid carpal tunnel hand nonsense. The "black wave" I've been all too familiar with throughout my adult life has been peeking out a little, so I have been doing my best to take care of myself with extra relaxation when I can.

Ken and I finished our childbirth classes, and overall they were pretty helpful. They covered how to spot the signs of preterm labor, details on what happens when you get to the hospital, and the various options and outcomes. The information shared regarding natural childbirth gave me more confidence on having the birth plan we want while in the hospital, so that's good. Then they gave us free Luna Bars, Preggie Pops, and showed us how to breathe. There was a graduation diploma involved, too. Ha.

At my last OB appointment, I brought my doc a little box of holiday cookies from a vegan cookie swap I went to the night before. I mentioned to him that they were dairy-free and egg-free, in case anyone in the office had allergies. He looked excited for a second, then asked me if any of them were gluten-free. Sadly, they weren't. But it turns out he has two sons that are autistic, and follow a dairy-free, gluten-free diet. This conversaion led us to a really interesting (and kinda scary) conversation on vaccines, which I've been researching a lot lately. I am pro-vaccination, but Ken and I are both very interested in following a spread out/delayed schedule. I'll write more about this when I get my thoughts together about it, but I will say that I wish my OB was a pediatrician because he did a delayed schedule with his children after his first son showed signs of development regression after receiveing the standard MMR vax at 15 months. He did stress that only children who may be genetically prone to autism may have this kind of reaction to the standard CDC vax schedule, and that his younger son still has a mild form of autism despite the delayed schedule. His daughters have no signs of autism at all. Will our kid be genetically prone to autism? Who knows? I have an older brother who is learning disabled, but who has never really been properly diagnosed. Joseph doesn't have the most common symptoms typical of austism, like unusual sensory perceptions or hyperactivity. But he does have the abnormal social interactions, such as lack of empathy and inability to relate to people or make and keep relationships. He mimics other people's speech patterns and phrases without understanding what they mean. Humor is lost on him, with the exception of fart jokes. He has low intelligence and has an extremely hard time learning anything. His disability has made his entire life very difficult. Does this mean our baby has a genetic link to autism? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. And if our kid does have a form of autism, then we will do our best to make sure he is given every opportunity to lead a fulfilling life. But still. A scary thought.

Lots of things are on my mind, and having to be in charge of a little human is going to be super weird. I've got more thinking to do.

Oh, and the diabetes test is on Christmas Eve. Yay?

24 weeks.

24 weeks today, and my pregnancy complaints are still minimal. The worst of it so far has been sleeping becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I started wearing a wrist brace on my right hand, which is helping with the carpal tunnel pain. But my hands are still going numb throughout the night. Also sleeping exclusively on my sides with my extra belly weight is really starting to hurt my hips. So between constantly trying to get comfortable and getting up two or three times to pee, my nights are more restless than I want. But... it could be worse.

Mostly I'm just excited (and a little freaked out) to be able to meet the little dude soon. Another doc appointment is coming up in a few weeks, a gestational diabetes screening, then more regular appointments. Everything seems to be going well. I'll be sure to post again once I think of something more interesting to say!

22 weeks.

This morning's appointment went well, and put me in a fairly good mood! The doctor reviewed the results from last week's big ultrasound, and told me that everything looked great. The kid measures just the right size for my due date to (hopefully) be accurate within a day or two. My placenta is in a good place to not be causing any problems, and the facial features they check for as potential Down Syndrome markers all appear normal. Organs look fine, too. Doc's also happy with my weight gain so far, as I'm right on track. He suggests a weight gain between 8-12 pounds by 22 weeks, and I'm right at 10 pounds today. The heartbeat sounded good, and I left the office without feeling under-informed as I usually do. Yay!

Yesterday Ken surprised me with a body pillow, which is so very nice. I've been having a harder time sleeping through the night lately, mainly because I can't get comfortable. I have to sleep exclusively on my side now, as the added weight of the kid can cause pressure on my intestines, aorta and vena cava. So annoying to be tied to my side, and not having a back sleeping option. The body pillow was mega comfy last night, though I fear between the new pillow and my growing belly, Ken will soon be sleeping on a small two inch square of bed.

Another crazy thing that's been messing with my sleep at night is that I keep waking up with my hands all numb! I had no idea this was a pregnancy thing, but the doc said it's pretty common, and will only get worse. Great.

Next appointment is in one month, then I go every two weeks after that. Things are gettin' real, y'all.

bambino.

Well what do you know. We're having a boy! Exciting, but I'm in a bit of shock. My sister Maddi said she also felt shocked when she first found out the gender of her baby, maybe because it's not a mystery anymore, it's real.

He's pretty cute so far.



If he looks like his dad, he's gonna get even cuter. How about cute like Ralph Macchio when he's 12?

(sorry Ken.)

20 weeks 2 days.

Cantaloupe image from The Bump.


A few things of note this week:

- There has been all kinds of activity in my belly the past 3-4 days. Flutters galore!

- My usually dainty little fingers now resemble links of steamed seitan. Actually, I don't know if the metaphor needs to be steamed specifically, but I do like a good steamed seitan. Anyway. My wedding rings don't fit right now, and that makes me sad.

- I'm hot and sweaty all the time. It makes me feel like I stink, though Ken promised me that I do not. Maybe he's lying to be nice. I'm so glad summer is over, or I would be way grumpier.

- Dreams at night are getting crazy vivid. Not too many nightmares, just a lot of weird stuff that makes no sense.

- We will probably get to find out what flavor the baby is on Thursday! What is your guess? Boy? Girl? Blueberry, chocolate?

on vanity and pregnancy.

Feeling tired, fat and happy. I'm calling this picture 19 weeks, though it's really more 18 weeks 5 days. Close enough.

I've been reading as many pregnancy books as my local library can provide me with, and that's been going well. But I picked up a real stinker this past week called The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, and much of it's contents got me to thinking about how women view themselves physically when they become pregnant. I am going to pick on this book a lot, but my reason is because I'm afraid that a lot of women feel the same way and relate to the issues raised in The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. It's a really popular book, from what I understand.

Now, I'm not without my insecurities, pregnant or no. I much don't care for my extra padding all around, and my good intentions to go without coloring my hair while pregnant have been strained by my four month old roots and grays peeking through. But overall, I'm pregnant because I want to be. And being a mother holds a lot more water with me than being traditionally "pretty" by some kind of society standards. Some days I have to remind myself of this more than other days. Perhaps because of drivel like this (and yeah, the author takes liberties with her all caps button):

"DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR OFF WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT! Don't forget, your face is pregnant, now, too, and you need bone structure to pull off that look." "And your husband, whose nerves are pretty raw at this point, will probably snap if you cut your hair, since we all know most men prefer long hair under any circumstances..."

My first thought when reading this was to look at the publishing date. It's 1995, not 1953 as I was hoping. An old, dated book or some kind of sick joke are the only two things that could explain this kind of bizarre, self-loathing garbage. So, pregnant ladies shouldn't sport a short hair cut because they have fat faces and their husbands will be pissed? What kind of jackass has this woman decided to spawn with?

"If I were to have let my hair return to its natural brown and gray condition every time I was pregnant, my children might have been spared some indirect contact with chemicals, but they would have also been born to a single parent, because my husband surely would have left me after the first two inches of the "real me" had grown out."

I mean, really. Do we need to call the authorities on this guy for emotional abuse, or does the author just need lots of therapy for her extremely low self esteem?

There aren't any definitive answers available on the whole "hair color while pregnant" topic. Lots of people do it, and their babies are just fine. Others choose to forgo any additional chemicals while pregnant, just in case. Either way, it's a personal decision and I would hate to think that there are pregnant women out there who go against what they feel comfortable with because they fear being seen as ugly by their partners, friends, or strangers.

The author takes lots of jabs at her own perceived fatness: "I just have a hard time reconciling my own pregnant dimensions with the size-four clothes in my closet." Yet devotes an entire chapter on why exercise should be completely avoided during pregnancy. No, seriously. Here are her completely ridiculous reasons.

1. You will be too tired
2. You will not look good in your leotard
3. You will get fat anyway
4. Exercise will not help you in labor or delivery
5. You might endanger the pregnancy
6. Even of you don't endanger the pregnancy, if something goes wrong you will forever wonder if exercising caused it.
7. It's "nine months up nine months down" in the weight gaining department, no matter what you do.
8. Our compulsion to exercise when we are pregnant is a reflection of our inability to surrender and let nature run it's course.

See, what her list says to me is that the sole purpose of exercise is to make us thin, and what's the use when pregnant? The truth is, pregnancy-modified exercise routines are not only acceptable, they are encouraged to help keep pregnancy discomfort down, reduce stress, boost energy, prepare for childbirth, keep blood pressure in check, sleep better, and more. As far as her #8, I certainly don't have a "compulsion to exercise". I hate exercising. But I do it because I want to feel better even if I'm just walking or stretching. How many well-meaning pregnant women have read this chapter and decided to just sit down for nine months in fear of hurting themselves or their kid? How many suffered for even lower self esteem when they started to feel shitty from not moving their body a little bit? Again, exercising while pregnant is a personal decision that should be made by the individual, not by some unqualified, fat obsessed crazy lady.

As a woman, I sometimes struggle with physical insecurities. I probably always will. But I also vow to continuously remind myself why the content of my character is more important than my book cover. Or something like that. And when that doesn't cut it, I'll list out things I like about physical appearance. Here are a few reasons why pregnancy has been cool for my self esteem so far.

1. My hair is thicker than it's been since high school. Considering the fact that I have a supposedly permanent case of diffuse pattern Alopecia Areata, it's real nice to have thicker hair and not deal with pesky handfuls of hair after shampooing. My dermatologist told me that pregnancy would probably make it go into hiding, so I'll just enjoy it while I can. Thank you, hormones!

2. My nails are strong as... er, nails. I'm usually a biter, but not anymore. My nails are in the best shape they're ever been. Thank you, hormones!

3. My skin isn't as dry as before. Sure, I could really do without the cleavage acne, but I'm loving the slightly dewy complexion that's happening right now. Thank you, hormones!

This post turned more ranty that I meant for it to. So I'll simply end with this. Pregnant ladies, let's all vow to love our bodies for what they do for us and our babies. And if we have people in our lives that make us feel ugly simply for being ourselves, let's choose to hang out with different people then, okay? Okay.

17 weeks 5 days.

This morning's appointment had me feeling a little like Rosemary Woodhouse. Sometimes it's a lot of stress to be this hormonal.

"There are plots against people, aren't there?"

First let me start off by saying that I know this shit isn't right. I am not normally so sensitive, and I certainly don't cry at the drop of a hat. That is, until recently. I hate blaming actions on things such as hormones. It sounds like such a cop out. But I knew something was up when Ken and I went to a restaurant for dinner last weekend, and I started crying in the car because the restaurant was too crowded and didn't have the vegetarian options listed on their website. Crying? Over tacos? Oh, it gets better.

So the appointment this morning. I haven't been to the doc for a month, and I never know what to expect because they never tell me anything. Seriously, I usually have to drag information out of these people as they're running by me. I knew from friends that the big ultrasound where they check the spine, organs, and can possibly find out the gender is around 20 weeks. Also keep in mind that they have performed an ultrasound at every single visit up to this point. Five ultrasounds, people. This has me under the impression that an ultrasound is typical for an appointment. I've never done this before, what the hell do I know?

I go in and the nurse weighs me and takes my BP. I ask her if I can wait until after the ultrasound to give the urine sample, since the bladder needs to be full for them to see best. Her response was, "What makes you think you are getting an ultrasound?" I told her that I didn't know, then asked what we were supposed to be doing today if not an ultrasound. "Just a check up", she told me. "You were supposed to have scheduled your 20 week ultrasound already. It's done at a different location". My response, "I was? Nobody told me that." She said, "Well, it's probably not your fault." Then she huffed around while checking my vitals. I asked her what my starting weight was, so I could know how much weight I've gained total, and she informed me that she can't look right now, but she would tell me in a minute. She didn't.

We went to the little room to wait for the doctor, and Ken tells me he's sorry, because he knew I was hoping for an ultrasound. Honestly, I really don't understand having to drag my ass out there for them to just weigh me and take my urine. Is there really nothing else for them to check after a month? Anyway, I started crying because I felt like the nurse was trying to imply that I didn't know what was going on when I should have. I was also pissed that no one had told me to make the 20 week appointment. It's "probably" not my fault? How about it's not my damn fault, lady? So just as I start crying, the nurse walks in to tell me more about this 20 week appointment which I should have already scheduled at the other location. She sees that I'm upset, and asks why. I told her that I feel like I'm not being given the information that I need. "Well, did you get the book at your first appointment?" she asks. You mean the notebook of general information on pregnancy, and nothing really specific about what to expect at each visit? Yeah, I got it. This pisses me off more, so I cry more.

Then the doctor walks in and wants to know what's going on. The nurse blurts out, "She's upset because she's not getting an ultrasound". I tell him that's not why I'm upset, but now I'm more pissed and embarrassed, so I cry more. He's a really nice guy with a much better beside manner than Miss "See You In Tahiti" nurse, so he says, "Hey, an ultrasound will only take 5 minutes, why don't we do one for you?" Tahiti nurse then leaves the room.

I start apologizing to the doctor for crying, letting him know that it's unlike me, etc. He tells me that hormones make pregnant women cry at everything, and not to worry about it. I really felt bad, because I didn't want him to think I was trying to manipulate the situation by making a scene. I don't play like that. I felt terrible. But the guy did an ultrasound with a smile, and spent a lot of time on it, too. He said we could look for the gender, but the ultrasound machine at this location isn't as sensitive. We tried real hard to tell the gender, but the baby was moving around way too much to see for sure. It almost looked like a boy, but doc couldn't confirm if what he saw was the baby's peenee or part of the umbilical cord. So we shall find out for sure (hopefully) when we go to our "real" ultrasound later on.

Here's what crying got me. Picture time.



Bottom of the feet. He/she was moving around a whole lot. Flips and everything.



Here's the kicker. This afternoon I called to schedule the 20 week ultrasound, and the scheduler said, "You should have scheduled this earlier. We're booked up through December." Of course. But after much prodding, they squeezed me in between two other appointments the first week of November.

I want tacos. And chocolate cake.

16 weeks!

food image from The Bump.

Four months along?? Kinda scary. Exciting, but still scary. One thing people keep telling me upon finding out the status of my uterus is, "Your life is going to change". I am aware of this, really, I am. Hence the scary. But change can be good too, you know. Change can be challenging, fulfilling, beautiful and well worth it. In fact, even though I've never done this whole mothering another human thing before, I can say with certainty that I know it will be well worth it.

I'm feeling pretty good this week so far. I felt the first flutters from the fetus, which was pretty cool. It has happened a few times now. It feels like there's a moth flapping around just under my skin. It's going to be extra cool to feel kicks later on down the road.

I have also started to get that super-smelling thing that happens to many pregnant ladies, and I pretty much hate it. I smell everything and everybody. Cologne, cigarette smoke, b.o., cat piss, you name it, and I can smell it way stronger than you. Bleh.

Two more weeks until our next appointment! I hope we can find out what flavor of baby we're having then.

awesome vegan kids.

I am very aware that there is a big divide in the vegan community in regards to giving birth to children, rather than adopting or remaining childless. While I completely respect anyone who chooses not to have children for any reason, I also expect others to respect our choice to have a little vegan. Sadly, many vegan parents catch a shit-ton of flack for having biological children. I have not yet been faced with any anger, judgments, or elitist remarks about the pregnancy, and hopefully I won't. All I ask is if you have a problem with me and my vegan husband having a kid, kindly think it, rather than tell us. As my mom always says, "What other people think of us is none of our business." Unless they make it our business.

Our friend Josh wrote an excellent blog post a few years ago about he and his partner's vegan daughter, the discrimination they experience within the community because of her, and the most logical reasons to back off. Sadly, he deleted his old blog. Did you happen to save that post, Josh?

"Tell your politics the world needs awesome vegan kids raised by awesome vegan parents."

- our wise friend Josh

15 weeks, moving right along.

food image from The Bump.

I scored my first pair of maternity jeans at a consignment shop Miss Jill told me about called Tadpoles. $9.99! They're so funny, maternity jeans. I tried on six pair all labeled the same size, three of them the same brand. Every single pair fit differently. But these, I like. I think I heard the fetus sigh with relief when I put them on.

And hey, I have a bump! I seem to be showing a lot more than just a week ago. To to the untrained eye, it probably just looks like I've been hitting the donuts harder lately. it will be nice to look a little more pregnant. However, I am going to miss sleeping on my back.

the triple screen test.

So, the triple screen test. During Friday's appointment, we were asked if we had decided to move forward with this testing option. Originally, I thought I would go ahead with the test because there's no harm in drawing a little blood, right? Then I did some reading about the triple screen, which helps estimate the chances of a child being born with various birth defects. What I found out was that the test tends to be around 60% accurate when an abnormal result is given. So basically I could get an abnormal result, then have to either freak out with worry for the rest of the pregnancy, or go through a potentially harmful amniocentesis procedure. We discussed these things with our doctor, and he said in his experience, the abnormal triple screen results are almost always inaccurate, 4 out of 5! After hearing this, I feel my risk of a miscarriage during an amnio procedure (about 1 in 400 chance) is outweighing the benefit of "knowing" (but not really knowing for certain).

It would be a real tragedy to have our child be born with down syndrome or spina bifida. And if I were in a higher risk category, then we would probably reconsider our decision to pass on the testing. But neither of us have a family history of birth defects, I'm not diabetic on insulin, I haven't had a viral infection while pregnant, I don't work around high levels of radiation, and I don't use drugs. The only risk factor I have is my "advanced maternal age" of 35.  We are passing on the triple screen test and the amnio for now. The doctor not only supported our decision, but completely agreed that the inaccuracy of the triple screen test tends to cause more harm with worry than anything else.

I'm still gonna worry, I just don't need to feed it more than my late night googling sessions already do.

14 weeks- lemon.

I finally had my 14 week appointment this morning. We got to hear our kitten's heartbeat on the Doppler for the first time, which means my chance of miscarriage is really low now, about 3%. The doctor was in such a hurry that he was just going to send us off after that, but it had been a month since my last ultrasound, and we really wanted to see the change. So we waited for almost an hour (!) for an ultrasound. I tried entertaining Ken in the ultrasound room by inflating a rubber glove to make myself a rooster comb, and by messing with the equipment. I tend to make him nervous. Anyway, the ultrasound was cool. It was hard to see since my bladder was empty (sound waves travel better through water, don't you know), but we saw a foot, a fist, and spine. It was so difficult to make out that they didn't even bother printing one out for us. Next time, I'm sneaking in a bottle of water with me, because the first thing they always have me do is give a urine sample. You'd think they would wait until after the ultrasound, since it makes such a big difference.

My friend Malia and her cutie pie toddler Alessia visited me at the store yesterday. She was so kind to bring us a few things, like a Baby Bjorn, a baby book, a newborn tee, and some tiny clothes hangers. Such nice friends I have. The tiny little baby things are a reminder that there's a baby at the end of all of this. A little scary.

I'm feeling pretty good though, overall. I will need to get myself a pair of maternity jeans soon, I think. I attempted to do this via my favorite thrift store, Value Village. But of course VV doesn't have dressing rooms. So two pair I've picked up have been all wrong for my size. It's hard to tell with maternity jeans, they fit so different than regular clothes. I'll just keep the with the hair-tie-through-the-beltloop trick until I can break down and buy a pair.

Oh, one last thing from this week- the depression study I'm enrolled in contacted me, and they are keeping me in a group that only gets to answer questions on the phone. No classes, no yoga. I still get paid the $35, at least. Bummersville.

12 weeks 2 days.

The last week of my first trimester. And just like all the books and articles say, my symptoms are dropping off like clockwork. No more queasy, and a lot less boobie pain. But I did wake up to a new, annoying issue: dizziness. So of course I Googled that shit. Here's what I found out:
During pregnancy, progesterone increases the flow of blood to your baby, resulting in lower blood pressure and reduced blood flow to your brain — giving you that dizzy feeling all over. This tends to start around 12 weeks. source

I wonder how pregnant ladies got on before the internet? It's not like doctors tell you everything (or anything, really). Guess their moms, sisters and friends helped with that stuff.

More energy and less queasy helped out yesterday when Ken and I went for a light hike at Kennesaw Mountain. The insanely hot weather has started to give way to cool breezes, so it was a nice time to be outside. Those of you who know me in person know that I'm not exactly the athletic type. But I enjoy walks and yoga for exercise. I have noticed that I tire more easily just walking around. It's kind of pathetic to be panting away after 15 minutes on a slight incline. But I'm trying to not be too hand on myself, and not push myself too far. I do plan to keep moving throughout the pregnancy, but I can't expect to have the same stamina as I did before baby.

I have my next doctor appointment late next week. I can't wait to see how the little plum is growing!

11 weeks 2 days

This early into the game, I gotta be resourceful. Klassy Maternity.

10 weeks 5 days.

For the mamas out there- when did you start to notice your belly grow? I know that the kid is no bigger than a kumquat (another food description for ya!) and weighs something like 2 ounces. Then why are my pants too tight already? I know I joke about eating all the time, but I've only gained 3 pounds in the past two months. I have heard that bloating is common, and yeah, I do feel kinda bloated. But I also feel just big. Why do you suppose this is? Is my uterus taking up that much more space? I started out this pregnancy being around 40 pounds overweight, so I don't really have a little pooch popping out of a flat tummy area like in those pregnancy magazine photos.

It's all so interesting, these body changes. I can't wait to see what pregnancy has in store for my body next. More acne? Torpedo tits? Perhaps some hemorrhoids? Ohh, the excitement!

mindfulness study.

When I went to the doc for my first prenatal visit, they gave me 2,710 pages of paperwork to fill out. Everything I've ever touched, worked around, smelled, or looked at was noted. In-depth family history of various illnesses was documented, along with a smattering of Ken's medical history. In with this paperwork was a sign-up sheet for an upcoming study on prenatal and postpartum depression. Since I have a long history of past depression, the thought of pregnancy related depression has crossed my mind a few times. It sounded interesting, so I signed up.

Someone from the study called me in for an introduction interview a few weeks ago, and I spent two hours answering all kinds of specific questions regarding my past and present mental state. I think they wanted to make sure I fit their needs for the study by having plenty of depression in my past, while being just fine right now. Apparently I passed with flying colors, because I'm in!

I'm pretty excited to be a part of this because it's a mindfulness-based cognitive therapy approach, which I've done well with before. They plan on mixing in some meditation, yoga, and other stress-relieving techniques too, so that's cool. Leave it to me to get excited about free therapy and yoga. Yay!

The study lasts a total of eight weeks, and starts sometime in mid-September. It should be interesting.

add it up.

I don't usually make a habit of counting calories, grams of protein, calcium, iron, etc. In the past, I've kept track of my daily food intake using Fitday just to make sure I was meeting my dietary needs.
The main things I learned when logging food (besides that I occasionally eat too much) was that as long as I kept my diet varied and included fruit, veggies, beans, nuts and grains, then I more than met my nutritional goals. So my mantra has simply been, "Eat! Enjoy!". Now that I'm growing a lil' vegan, I've found myself in need of keeping track a little better.

So, my new nutritional needs mainly consist of doubling my protein intake, and making sure I'm getting enough calcium. Eating enough protein has never been a problem before, and I refuse to become a vegan stereotype while pregnant! Getting more protein than usual just takes a little more planning on my part.

Main meals have been fairly well balanced, it's the snacks in between that I'm working on to make sure they fill me up with what I need, not just fill me up. Here are some of my higher-protein snack options so far. I would love to hear suggestions for more protein rich snacks!

Peanut butter on toast
Hummus on wheat crackers
Bagels (they average about 7g protein!)
Walnuts, cashews, almonds
Primal Strips
Tofurky sammich (yes, as a snack. I'm hungry all the time!)
Soy yogurt
Sunflower seeds
Smoothie with rice protein
Tofu "egg" salad
Tempeh "chicken" salad


As far as the calcium-rich foods, I'm incorporating as much for these foods as possible:

Kale
Chard
Collard greens
Enriched vegan milks
Bok Choy
Broccoli
Almonds
Soy yogurt

When I told the midwife that I don't eat dairy, I was expecting a lecture. But she didn't give two shits about it. She just told me to eat plenty of greens and maybe take the occasional Tums. I like her.

I'm good on meal planning, but I need quality snack advice, folks! I would love for you to weigh in on this, if you can.

Thanks!

9 weeks 5 days.

!!!!!!!!

Well, would you look at that. What a big change from my last ultrasound two weeks ago! Our sprout doesn't look like a wad of gum anymore. There's actually a noticeable head, arms and legs. The heartbeat is fine, everything's going good. Now I don't have to go back to the doc for another four weeks.

Speaking of sprout, I've noticed that pretty much every pregnancy book, magazine, and website refers to the different sizes/stages of an embryo using food comparisons. He/She's been a grain of rice, then a lentil, a pea, a cashew, and now a martini olive. Not just an olive, but a martini olive. Very specific. It's kind of weird, but then again, what else would you compare the sizes to? A pinky toe nail? A deer tick? Snake eye? Pencil eraser? I'm starting to understand the food reasoning now.

insatiable.

Despite a wave of nausea here and there, I'm pretty much hungry all the time. And if I don't eat whenever I feel the slightest bit hungry, the nausea gets worse! Considering I'm only in my first trimester, it may not be the best idea for me to consume as many calories as I've been packing away lately. I have been doing pretty well at making healthier choices since I found out a baby is growin' in there, though. No soda or caffeine at all. No MSG. A lot less sugar than before (but I'm still eating some sweets), and basically trying to make the most out of the calories I'm eating. But man, still. I'm ravenous. We have a really tight grocery budget right now, so I'm trying to be creative with eating without resorting to stuffing slices of bread in my mouth.

Am I seven weeks along yet?

I had another ultrasound today, one week after the last one. Our little lentil has grown quite a bit in one week, and you can even see it's little yolk sac accessory.

They measure how pregnant I am by two ways: the date of my last period, and the size of the lentil in the ultrasound. The latter is more accurate, as cycles can vary in length. So the midwife told me today that I am seven weeks, one day! I swear, I've been seven weeks pregnant for a month now. According to my cycle, I should be about nine weeks. At this rate, I'll end up giving birth in March 2012. And I guess I got that positive pregnancy test before I even conceived, right? Man, those tests are super sensitive.

Everything looks good so far. It's getting harder to sleep at night with the constant need to pee, and trying to sleep around the sore, giant boulders that reside on my chest. But hey, I haven't actually thrown up yet. So at least there's that. But my nausea is slowly getting worse, so that may be changing soon.
(mind over matter- mind over matter-mind over matter...)

a little scare.

When I had a miscarriage earlier this year, it started with some brown spotting. That eventually led to red bleeding, which turned out to be my body expelling a blighted ovum. Well, recently I had some of that ominous brown spotting. I called the doctor, and even though I was told that spotting can be common in early pregnancy, they still had me come in right away. She did an ultrasound, and our little lentil looks pretty normal. There's already a heart beat!

Since the ultrasound pretty much looks like a peanut in a hole to me, I asked her what things would look like in there if there were a problem. "If the baby was miscarrying", she said, "The sac wouldn't look so round. It would appear to be deflated, and it would be moving down toward your cervix." She went on to tell me that 3 out of 10 pregnant women experience spotting throughout their pregnancy. No need to panic unless I'm bleeding bright red, enough to soak a pad.

My appointment made me feel better about the spotting for about 20 minutes, until I had to pee and saw more spotting. I've been lightly spotting brown for four days now, and I'm still completely freaked out. My next appointment is in three days, so hopefully that will help to ease my mind.

...but it probably won't.

7-8 weeks.

Since I'm really new to this pregnancy thing, I'm not sure what to expect out of my body over the next seven months or so. Of course I've Googled the shit out of some symptoms, but in the end, everybody is a bit unique in their experience. Here are some of the good things I've noticed with being pregnant, along with some not so good.

Good stuff:
- Knowing there will be a baby at the end of it all
- My boobs are freakin' huge
- I get to eat 300 extra calories a day and not feel bad about it
- I'm off litter box duty!
- Making other people lift heavy things for me like a princess
- No monthly cycle bullshit
- Less headaches (let's hope this one continues)


Not so good stuff:
- Constantly worrying if everything's going okay in there
- Although the boobs are huge, they hurt like a mofo
- Queasy 80% of the day
- Aversion to sweets (!!)
- Daily food journaling to avoid any potential vegan backlash at the Dr.
- Random cramping
- general weird feeling

My next appointment is in seven days, so maybe I'll worry less after I hear that things are going well. Hopefully.

the positive.

The day I found out I was finally pregnant was also the day my father died. While my dad's death was no surprise, the positive pee test actually was. Acting as my father's executor, I was on my way to his home to fetch some paperwork. During my drive, I realized three days had past since my period was scheduled to start. I promised myself that I would wait to test until my monthly visitor was late for at least three days, because I just hate the let down of a negative pee test. Suddenly feeling the need of some good news to counteract the devastation of dad passing away that morning, I decided to stop at a Family Dollar and buy a pregnancy test. The picture above the the result of that very test. My initial reaction was a little guarded. After all, we had been trying for a baby for two years, and I had suffered a miscarriage just five months earlier. Could this really be happening? Even after the miscarriage and the stress from four months of dealing with my ailing father? I snapped a picture of the test result with my phone before it had a chance to change it's mind.