(almost) 33 weeks.

 I wish I could eat these waffles.  Stupid, stupid waffles. 

The diabetic thing is still on my mind a lot, which makes sense because I'm forced to think about it every couple of hours when I take my blood. Not to mention the constant writing down of everything I eat, measuring food, counting carbs, etc. It's a little stressful. The diet change has gone well though, despite the stress. Eating healthy is much easier than having to eat diabetic though, I will say. A few of you posted your surprise about the quinoa and broccoli causing a blood sugar spike. It has less to do with the quality or healthfulness of the food, but more with how many carbs I'm eating in one sitting and the carb to protein ratio. For example, my blood sugar was too high after dinner a few nights ago after I ate a butternut squash & white bean burger on a bun with some sweet potato fries. Squash, beans, bun and sweet potato all added up to too many carbs for one sitting, even though they are all healthy foods. See the kind of shit I'm dealing with? At least I can eat almost all the soy yogurt I can stand, so that makes me feel a little better.

All of my after meal numbers have pretty much fallen right into place, which the doc is happy with. The problem now is with my morning fasting numbers (before breakfast), which are consistently elevated. This pattern shows that diet alone will not likely change this, as the pregnancy hormones are causing my pancreas to not produce enough insulin at night. So after two weeks of being on the diet, now the doc is adding a low dose (the lowest possible dose to start) of glyburide with dinner to help with the fasting numbers. I would be lying if I said that having to take medicine while pregnant isn't completely crushing me. I feel terrible that genetics and risk factors brought me to this point in my pregnancy, but I do want Luka to be born healthy. If this is the way, then I'll just have to accept it.

This also puts me into the "high risk pregnancy" category, which means I have to go to the doctor once a week, and possibly several times a week come closer to my due date. Each week I will need to do a non-stress test, and the amniotic fluid will be monitored. Too much fluid can cause an early birth, as can too little fluid. Too much fluid is a possibility for a gestational diabetic. As far as how I feel about all this stuff, let's just say that being induced and being hooked to a fetal monitor during labor is not part of my ideal birth plan.

They required me to have an appointment with the staff dietitian today too, which was pleasant and kind of funny. She was informative and nice, and didn't care that I was vegan. She did keep saying "vaygun" though, which caused me to have a slight facial tic. She also suggested I try "soy cheese on toast" as a high protein and calcium rich snack, and I had to politely tell her that no soy cheese on the market is a good source of calcium or protein, they are really just condiments. She was surprised. Anyway, she did help clear up my confusion with carb portions and how many carbs are in certain vegetables. So that was helpful. She went to her car to bring me a pamphlet on vegetarian eating, which turned out to be a Vegetarian Starter Kit from the PCRM. How funny is that?! I wonder where she got her hands on outreach material? Hey, as long as she's giving it out to folks, then I'm happy. Hopefully she has more of them, and didn't waste her only one on a vegetarian of 19 years/vegan for 9 of those years.

31 weeks. Only 9 more to go (eek!).

My feet are down there somewhere

So, my 3 hour GTT test came back, and it turns out I do have gestational diabetes. Damn it. I picked up my blood glucose monitor yesterday, and I have to check my blood sugar four times daily. Just like my diabetic mother. Though unlike my mother, I did not have a donut and a glass of milk for lunch. I'm not even kidding.

Luckily, the doctor wants to see if we can control it with diet before considering medication. It's been a rough start, trying to figure out what types of foods make my sugar spike and what works better. For example, for me, broccoli and quinoa for dinner= bad, oatmeal and a banana for brekkie= good. Who knew? But I think I will get a handle on it once I learn the ropes. Vegan protein sources can also count as starches due to carb content, so that adds some confusion. But I'll get it, dangit. I just miss my daily chocolate fix so badly. And juice. I love juice. But little Luka is worth it.

Speaking of.  Yes, we have a name for our little guy. He's Luka John Joseph. I've been calling him Lu, for some reason. I talk to him a lot when I'm driving.

Oh, one fun thing happened at my last appointment. I asked about the status of my latest blood panel, and the doc said my iron levels were higher than about 80% of his pregnant patients. Go vegan blood! Woo!

Also, I'm BIG.

29 weeks 5 days.

swollen hand and swollen belly


*sigh*.

So I "failed" the one hour glucose tolerance test, and now I have to take the three hour glucose tolerance test tomorrow morning to check for gestational diabetes. I'm so not looking forward to fasting, drinking a bunch of sweet goo, then having my blood drawn every hour for three hours. Oh, and sitting in a crowded waiting room for three hours, too. What if the fasting then sweet goo makes me sick? Please don't let me barf.

Of course it will be important to know whether or not I have gestational diabetes, so I can start a soul-sucking diet of low carbs, no sweets, and less calories. I'll do anything for our little guy, but I would be lying if I said that it won't be awful to not have bread or chocolate for another few months. By the way, having gestational diabetes doesn't mean I had diabetes before becoming pregnant, or that I will still have diabetes after pregnancy. It's just based on how my body handles insulin while pregnant. Still, it sucks and I feel bad about this potentially bringing harm to our kid. But catching it now would be great for him & me, so we can get the right treatment. I do feel for pregnant women who don't have access to regular prenatal care. Having diabetes while pregnant and not knowing it or getting treatment could be a really bad thing for both the kid and the momma.

I'm still struggling with some depression, though nothing too major. I don't want it to become major, so I checked into some talk sessions with my HMO. Well, $60 copay per visit means that's a big fat no. Oh well. I don't feel out of control or anything, just a bit stressed and down. I've definitely had worse, so I will soldier on.

I had a tour and doctor interview at a pediatrician office yesterday that went even better than expected. I was impressed that the office has separate waiting rooms for sick kids and well kids, so they don't infect each other. Also a third waiting room for newborns only (even a separate entrance) so they come in contact with as few people as possible during their very early little lives. The tour was after hours, and some of the nurses were scrubbing all of the toys and chairs in the regular waiting room, too. I'm not a super germaphobe or anything, it was just kind of nice attention to detail at a place where sick kids frequent. The doctor was very receptive to my two pages of questions (yes, I was that person), and said they would be more than fine with treating a vegan kid with an alternative vaccine schedule. Good news. I am still going to tour a couple other places, just in case.

Wish me luck with the three hour test tomorrow. Should be a fun time.