nine months.

Nine months. That is just crazy. Luka has had some more great milestones happen over the past month. He crawls (really fast!), he can get to the sitting position on his own, and he is starting to pull up on things, too. He also recently started babbling the "bababa" "mamama" and "dadada" sounds.


pulling up like a big kid

Oh, and two teeth!!



Happy boy!


And the saddest monkey ever. On Halloween:


Luka's solid food list is growing, and he is slowly starting to get the hang of picking up food with his fingers. Finger foods so far have been peas, fruit puffs, and crumbled tofu. He can handle a sippy cup really well now too, but he doesn't actually drink much from it. He mostly chews on the spout. More pureed solids include: lentils, raspberries, peaches, pumpkin, blueberries, and others.



Miles the cat follows the baby around wherever he goes, and Luka loves it. He's always crawling around with Miles and trying to pet him. It's pretty funny.


a sweet boy in flight

Luka has even slept through the night a few times on his own, which is so cool. We still feed him once in the night if he wakes up for it, because he's a tiny little sprout. He's growing well though, and his pediatrician is happy with his rate of growth. He made it to the 1% in weight finally at 15 lb 7 oz.

What a crazy nine months it's been so far. Full speed ahead to having a one year old. Whoa!

7 months.

our little chipmunk

What a month it's been! Lots of new solid foods being introduced, and some milestones being met. Luka can now sit up unassisted, though he topples over pretty often. He's very proud of himself.



New leg warmers!



He stayed with his Nana and Grampa for a whole day one Saturday, and he had a ball. I was worried he would have some separation anxiety, but he did great. I love that he gets to spend time with extended family, because I never had that as a kid. He has a lot of people who love him very much!

So far his solid food roster goes like this:

Vegetables- green beans, peas, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes
Fruits- pears, apples, bananas, mango, prunes
Cereals- rice, oatmeal, multigrain (barley, oats, spelt)

And this week we will introduce lentils, then spinach. I attempted to include some unsweetened soy yogurt this month for some extra calories and fat, but he hated the taste! Oh, the sour faces he made. I hid it in sweet fruit and even his favorite carrots, but to no avail. I think he hated it worse than avocado, and that's hard to do.




Lu went for some seven month shots yesterday, and while he did gain another pound (he's 13lbs 15oz), his doc wants this preemie to gain a little faster now. Since we are having a hard time getting him to take a larger volume of formula, she gave us instructions on how to mix his formula to a higher calorie per ounce. Also she gave us the go-ahead to add flax oil or coconut oil to his solid foods. Hopefully this will give him that extra push he needs. I hope so, because I feel like I'm stuffing him full of food all the time. Poor kid never seems to get the chance to even feel hungry for a minute.

And no teeth yet! Lu's still a droolin' fool, but not a single tooth has made an appearance. He isn't crawling yet either, though he tries and gets frustrated. But he still manages to get around quick by flipping on to his back and doing a crab-crawl that is hilarious. He tends to aim his head directly at tables, so we have to watch him like a hawk when he's  on the floor.

And Luka has a brand new cousin named Liam Xander! We are excited for him to have a cousin so close in age. Hopefully they will grow to be good buddies.


can't get enough baby feet

6 months.

this kid.

Luka's six month well visit was yesterday, and he's still doing great. He didn't gain as much weight this time (he's 12 lb 14oz) but he has grown 2 inches in length since his four month checkup! All of his developmental milestones have been met, except for sitting up unassisted. He can for a second or two, but topples over quickly. We aren't worried about it though, he'll get there.

Lu's still eating one bottle in the middle of the night, and his doctor thinks we can wean him off once he's up to eating two meals of solid foods a day. His calories are still a concern, so he can't spare the one bottle without making up for it somewhere. We tried him on two solid meals today, and he didn't know what to think about it.


what I wake up to in the morning- a cranky faced monkey butt.

Solids are still going well. In addition to his usual, we've added pears and carrots to the list. And I finally made up a batch of organic peas for him! I need to make more homemade baby food. It's way cheaper than the little jars.


cute!

Luka has still been drooling like crazy, but no teeth have popped up yet. I follow a PPHN group on Facebook, and I recently read some parents talking about the new teeth on their little PPHN survivors. Apparently, tooth decay is really common in babies who had PPHN due to the sedatives and the ventilator they were on during treatment. When Lu's teeth start coming in we will be watching out for that. Hopefully it won't be a lifelong problem, but only with the baby teeth. I hate to think of him having any kind of residual problems from his treatment, but I guess it's better than the alternative.



I can't believe it's been six months already!

feeding the baby.

He loved the sweet potatoes so much, the spoon was yanked from my hand.

Solid food sure is a fun time. Not that Luka's eating all that much of it, but it's still fun to explore "real" food with him. We have been introducing about one food per week, and so far his menu includes:

Organic rice cereal
Organic sweet potatoes
Organic Bananas
Organic peas
Avocado

He HATED avocado, which kind of breaks my heart! We will try it again later, of course. Lu eats a variety of solids once a day right now, in between bottles.

Yeah, bottles. I've been avoiding writing about Luka's food because it's a touchy subject with me. But, since this is one of the few vegan baby blogs out there, I feel like I should tell our food story in case it may help others. So, as most vegan parents know, the ONLY way to feed an infant completely vegan is to breast feed. breast milk is the perfect balance of nutrition for a baby. If for some reason you cannot breast feed, a commercially prepared baby formula is the only safe alternative. Sadly, there is no completely vegan formula on the market. The dairy-free formulas all have non vegan vitamin D3 in them, and the dairy formulas are of course made of dairy.
If you have followed this blog since Luka's birth, then you probably remember my trouble with milk production in the beginning. The cards were stacked against me from the start. I never went into labor, so my body was not ready to make milk yet. Then my baby was isolated from me in the NICU with a serious heart/lung disease, and I wasn't even allowed to touch him for almost a week. I began pumping milk right away, and even at his bedside when I could (since contact with your baby helps stimulate milk production). Once I could hold him, we did skin-to-skin. I had two lactation appointments per week, where we got Luka to latch, despite his feeding tube. I was pumping every 2-3 hours, and producing maybe one ounce per day. Every drop I made went through his feeding tube, and that was awesome. He was tiny, so he didn't need much at first. I would bring all my pumped milk to the NICU for them to make bottles out of,and we began feeding him by mouth once his occupational therapy was done and he could eat by mouth. I remember one day I showed up, and the label on his bottle was marked "formula". I cried. When I asked why, they said he already ate all the stored breastmilk I had made. He was growing, and needing more than I could make. my lactation consultant told me to think of the formula as "medicine" until we could get my stores up.

I pumped. I took heaps of lactation supplements for months. I nursed him in between bottles, to help with my production. I fed him breastmilk in bottles so the slow flow of my breast wouldn't frustrate him. I even used the most fucked-up thing I called "the inadequacy contraption", seen here. I did my best. Eventually, Lu needed to eat way more than I could make, and my supply began to dwindle. I am very glad that he got breast milk for the first four months of his life, even though it couldn't be exclusively. Now his bottles are filled with organic soy formula, which he has to have until the age of one. I hate that it's not my milk, and I hate that the formula isn't completely vegan, but that's the facts, y'all. Luka is being raised vegan, and will only have vegan solid foods. We are really excited to see him enjoy solids, too.

He's such a happy little boy. We can't wait to get him started on all the good vegan foods that mommy and daddy eats!

five months.

Wow, time flies! I can't believe our little Luka Lu is 20 weeks old already.



He's still right on track developmentally. There's lots of babbling, cooing, and flipping from back to belly. In fact, we put him to bed on his back, but he always ends up like this:



It was kind of scary at first, but he lifts his head up really well, so we know he won't suffocate himself. Still, that's quite a face plant.

A week or so ago, we decided to try and transition Luka to his crib for sleeping at night. He had been sleeping in a bassinet in our room (mostly) and co-sleeping in our bed for a few hours each night, so I expected him to have a rough time with the nursery. But it's actually been great. He sleeps much more soundly in his own room, up to six hours at a time before waking. That's with no sleep training at all! we just rock him to sleep as usual, turn on the monitor, and occasionally he will fuss around in his sleep for a few seconds. But he goes right back to sleep most of the time. If he does cry, we go tend to him either by rocking him, changing him, or whatever. He still eats once in the night, because he's not quite 12 pounds yet. Eventually we will wean him off of that last feeding in the night.

He's drooling like crazy, and chewing on everything. I wonder when we will see a tooth?





He lost the pushing tongue reflex about a month ago, so we tried him on some solid food for the first time. It seems soon for that, but between 4-6 months is pretty standard. He wasn't thrilled with the organic whole grain rice cereal we gave him. We will just take it slow and try it another time.




He's still so teeny for his age!


Every day he surprises us. And exhausts us. Ha.

growing!

Luka had his four month well visit, and everything seems to be coming along fine. While he is still pretty small for his age, (1% for weight, .52% for height, and .4% for head circumference) the rate that he's growing is good. Check this out as a comparison. Here's the kid at 2 1/2 months with a size small diaper:



And here he is at 4 months wearing the same size diaper:



What a difference! As of Friday, he weighs 10 lb 14 oz.

diapering the baby.

:l


:D

When I was pregnant, we decided to use cloth diapers when Lu came around. The initial investment is a bit spendy, sure, but purchasing $20 worth of diapers each week ends up costing WAY more in the long run. Not to mention the huge amount of waste disposables add to the landfills. There are so many different cloth diapering options available, it was making my head spin. We still had not made a final decision on what diapers to go with when Luka arrived early in February. Once we found out how teeny tiny he was, it made the decision even harder! Originally I wanted to go with the "one size" variety, that are adjustable up through potty training. But I worried that these would be way big on our preemie. I was right.


Lu and the giant diaper

The diaper above isn't even a "one size". It's a FuzziBunz Perfect Size in size small, which is supposed to fit 0-8 months. That picture was when Luka was almost three months. We have two of those diapers that a friend purchased from our registry. So now that Luka has had an obvious growth spurt, I tried that same diaper shown above. And on the smallest setting, it fits like a glove! That's some growth spurt. So we are thinking that since he is four months this weekend and is able to wear the small "perfect size" on the lowest setting, it's likely that he can stay in that size (with adjustments) up to maybe 10 months or more. We test drove the two we have, and really like them, so now we have eight more of the FuzziBunz Perfect Size smalls on order. Once he gets a bit bigger, we want to set him up with a stash of the more cost effective Kawaii one size diapers to hopefully carry him through to potty training. I haven't decided if we will do disposables at night yet or not. The disposables keep him from feeling as wet over a longer period of time, which would certainly help right now with us trying to get him to sleep longer than three hours at a time. But we will experiment with the cloth, adding a second insert to see if that helps.

Of course this means that we have been using disposables up to this point. So if a vegan needs to use disposables, what kind do you use? I was talking to Miss Jill about this very thing yesterday. Most major disposable diaper brands are owned by companies that animal test. Huggies is Kimberly-Clark, Pampers is Proctor & Gamble, Luvs is also Proctor & Gamble (this confused me, and I ended up using Pampers for a while, thinking they were okay). Then there are the generic store brands that are available, like Target, Babies R Us, Kroger, Publix, Etc. From what I understand, generic brands don't typically test, they just use research that has already been done by the giants P&G and others. Then there are the more costly cruelty-free brands such as Earth's Best and Seventh Generation. We mostly use Earth's Best and generic now, with Earth's Best being the less leaky option. Since we won't have to buy very many disposables anymore, I think we will stick with Earth's Best.

I'm so excited to be starting with cloth diapers! Even the extra laundry hasn't dampened my spirits yet. So do tell- what kind of cloth do you like best?

friday.

milestones and 3 months postpartum.

Ah, developmental milestones. More stuff for parents to stress out about. While Luka does seem "normal" as far as I know, there is always a risk of issues down the road because of his rough beginning. They just kept telling us, "make sure he meets his milestones" whenever I would ask how likely it will be for him to be delayed or challenged in some way. But the thing about milestones is that every baby is different, and they are just basic guidelines for development. Still, it's hard not to take it seriously when Lu went for his two month well visit and the nurse asked if he was smiling at us yet. He wasn't really then, but at three months he's been smiling up a storm!



And several times now we have put him to sleep on his back (per usual), only to find him on his side a little later. Little boy doing big boy things!



He's holding his neck up really strong now, and occasionally popping me in the mouth with his forehead. Overall, we are happy with his milestones so far. A little slow with some, faster with others. I'm sure it will all even out.

Since this started out as a pregnancy blog, I should probably mention how things are now at three months postpartum. For the most part, it's like nothing even happened. The c-section pain has been completely gone since about 6-8 weeks after the surgery. The hip pain and carpal tunnel pain I had while pregnant went away almost immediately after giving birth. My blood sugar went back to normal within only a few days after the birth, too. The lochia lasted almost a full six weeks, gross. But I haven't had a normal cycle yet, interestingly. I'm still about nine pounds heavier than I was before the pregnancy, which isn't too bad I guess. But my abdomen muscles are loose and flabbier than before, so that's unsightly and annoying. and I didn't really get any stretch marks until a few weeks after giving birth. No fair! I'm sure they happened because of the loose belly all flopping around when walking. I should have bought one of those abdominal support bands way sooner than I did. Not only did it help the c-section pain tremendously, I bet it would have cut down on the stretch marks, too. I didn't get one until about four weeks after the surgery. If you ever have a c-section or any other abdominal surgery, get yourself one of these! It really helped so much.

My self esteem isn't at it's highest right now, like many new moms, I guess. I don't have many pictures of me and the boy yet because I just feel like I look like shit. Still kind of heavy, barely showered with spit up stains on all my shirts. And I'm in desperate need of a haircut! With all the medical bills piling up, I can't even afford a haircut or color. Not that hair maintenance is important in the grand scheme of things, but yeah, BLAH.
My friend Malia took a picture of me and General Fussypants that I don't totally hate:

3 months.

12 weeks old, and the little dude is doing great. He's nine and a half pounds now, and getting a little heavy for holding in just one hand. I had to pack away his first few sets of newborn onesies, because they are too small now. This kind of made me sad! But of course it's exciting to see him grow and develop. Plus, we still have a ton of newborn clothes that are too big for him. Baby clothes are all cut so different, it's weird. There are some really cute clothes he's been gifted that I can't wait until he fits in.

At Lu's 2 month checkup, his doc told us that once he gained another pound, we could start trying him with sleeping through the night. Of course "sleeping through the night" with a 3 month old is really only about five hours. So rather than wake him for his 2am feeding, we have been letting him sleep through. Several times this has worked well, with him waking up closer to his 5am feeding time. Other nights he has woken up at 2am like clockwork. We have been asking parents we know how they transitioned their infant to sleep through the night. If you have a story to share, we would love to read about it. Any advice is much appreciated! I have a strong opinion against using the "crying it out" method with Luka that some people use for sleeping through the night. My maternal instincts just can't handle the thought of a 3 month old baby crying and needing to be held or fed, then going all night with his cries unanswered. But all feedback is welcome on this, really. I'm not gonna judge you if you did get good results from crying it out (I just don't think it's right for Lu at this age). A full spectrum of opinions is always helpful. Ken and I are new at this parenting thing, and we want to make sure the kid is on the right track to healthy, happy sleep.

Lu has been getting into somewhat of a routine during the day, with me taking him to work. He's awake and generally fussy until his 11am feeding, then I bundle him up for a nap. He usually naps for 2-3 hours, then he eats again at 2pm. After that he's alert and ready to play for a while, so I walk him around the store and show him things. His favorite things to do at work are to go to the warehouse and stare at the overhead lights, and play tickle monster in the lobby chair. He will occasionally flash me a gummy smile. He's still a little stingy with the smiles, but they are happening! Sometimes I put him in his lamb chair on the big push cart we have, and I push him around the showroom. Then he fusses until I hold him. Around 3-4pm, he's ready for another little nap which is never long enough. So we head home, where he likes to stare at his mobile until he eats again at 5pm. From there, it's a fight to get him to nap (though he's clearly sleepy) so I can make dinner.

The more alert times during the day are pretty fun. I love watching him look around so intently, taking in everything he sees. Like he's filing it all away in his brain for future use. It's also nice that he isn't crying the whole time he's awake anymore, though he cries more than I would like! We take care of all his needs, so I think he just likes being fussy at times. He is usually pretty good in public places, though. So far, anyway.

He has a 3 month checkup next week, so we get to see how long he is now. I think he's longer than before, because I need to adjust his car seat straps again!

2 month checkup.

Did they coordinate his band-aid with his onesie on purpose?

Luka is growing like a weed! At two months,he's up to 7 lb 9oz. His head circumference is 14", and his height is now 19.5". Yeah, he is still small, but he's doing good. He also started his vaccines at this visit. If we were to go by the regular vax schedule, our tiny little kid would have had five different vaccines administered in one day. But since we are following a delayed schedule, he only had two, and one of them was oral rather than a shot. The pediatrician office we chose kept with their promise about following our wishes to follow an alternative schedule. In fact,they said that lots of their patients use the same schedule (we are doing the Dr. Sears schedule). Such a load off to have found a good pediatrician group that suits our needs. Lu did scream when he got his shot, though. And I cried. After all he's been through, this one shot should be nothing to Rough Start.

Easter happened yesterday, and so did his first holiday-themed onesie.



Isn't his hair just outta control hilarious? Hair-larious.

part 2: thoughts on the birth and the NICU experience.

I started replaying Luka's NICU stay in my head recently because the hospital sent us a survey in the mail about our experience. The multiple choice questions didn't really do a good job explaining our story. First, let me say that the amazing staff at Northside's NICU saved our kid's life. That's the most important thing, no matter what happened in between the time Luka was admitted and when he was discharged. But the stuff sandwiched in the middle of that time was still interesting, frustrating, good, bad, and kinda weird.

For the first ten days, the kid was staying in the 2nd floor special care nursery. The 2nd floor is for the sicker babies, who need more than just typical preemie care. Most of the staff on the 2nd floor was drinking grumpy juice, I think. At each visit we would go to the reception desk to check in. They would check our wristbands (only immediate family is allowed), and I would tell them if I had pumped milk to deposit. They would buzz us in, and bring a key to unlock the milk fridge. Nine times out of ten, the person working this desk was unresponsive, lacked eye contact, and generally hated our existence. So annoying. Excuse us for wanting to visit our critically ill newborn! Once we dropped off milk, we would head to Luka's pod, wash our hands at the sink, and check in with the nurse. Each shift was a different nurse, so we met someone new just about every time we came. I wish that they wouldn't have rotated the staff so much, so we could get used to who was taking care of him, but I'm sure they have a reason for switching them out so often. They worked 12 hour shifts, so maybe that had something to do with it. Anyway, the nurse would fill us in on what had happened since we had been there last. Did they raise or lower his oxygen and by how much? What tests were run? Did he need another blood transfusion? When will they start to wean him off of the sedatives? From there, we would go standby his bed and look at him. As you probably remember, we weren't allowed to really touch him for the first week. This was because of his hypertension in the lungs. If he heard us or felt us, he might get too excited and then his blood pressure would go up. So we would just stand there and look at him.

Some of Luka's nurses were very kind, patient, explained things well, and seemed empathetic (big ups Debbie, Maggie, and the nice lady whose name I don't remember!). Others were curt, bossy, and had no time for us (we shant name names). The rude, bossy nurses sure had a way of ruining our visits. I know they're just people, but damn. They're working with the parents of sick kids. Cut us a little slack, eh? One shitty nurse in particular loved to boss us around. All of the nurses allowed us to help change Luka's diaper when we were there, so Ken and I were changing a diaper. Ken was on one side holding his legs, while I did the wiping and diaper switch. We got yelled at. "Only one person for a diaper change!" Why? This had to have been her personal preference, because other nurses allowed us to both do this. What the hell does it matter? Then she told us that we could wipe his mouth with this sterile water that comes in a bottle. (His mouth got foamy from the feeding tube and oxygen.) So I take a little cloth wipe, and dip the end into the bottle. She got all sideways with me for ruining the water bottle, as apparently I was supposed to pour the water on the wipe, not dip the wipe into the bottle. Then she made a big production about throwing the full bottle of water away in front of me because it was tainted. Jesus, man. Can you give the parents a little break, here? Our kid is sick, I'm hormonal from giving birth, and so on. My standard was to cry when we visited, so I cried. She said in a curt tone: "Mom, your tears are getting to me, so I'm going to let you hold him."



So we held him. The only redeeming thing this lady did. Besides taking care of our son's medical needs for 12 hours, of course.

One of the 2nd floor nurses we simply call "Crazy Nurse". We show up one night to visit Luka, and meet the nurse on duty. We never got her name, but she proceeded to talk our ears off about herself and various other dumb things. "I like your tattoos! I have one!" Stuff like that. When we were politely trying to pull away to go visit the kid, she didn't get the hint. But we thought, hey, at least she's nice and not shitty. Well, Ken showed up the next morning at the end of her shift, and she was like a different person. She snubbed him, gave him full-on attitude. Luka's nasal cannula was coming loose, and Ken asked her if she could tighten it. She told him that she was about to be off work. Oh, sorry. It's only his OXYGEN.

When the kid was moved up the 7th floor, the staff was way better overall. Except for that one receptionist that made a comment about the amount of breast milk I was dropping off. "You need to make more than that." Oh, really? Yes, let's make me feel worse about my small milk production. That's a good idea. Like I was trying to hold out on the kid or something. Then she told me to drink more water. Everyone at Northside is convinced that the key to milk production is simply drinking more water. I'm sure it does help, but I'm drinking water, damnit. Anyway. The 7th floor nurses were mostly much better. One night we showed up and Luka was propped up in his Boppy pillow, with a little faux hawk. It was hilarious. Then we see who's sitting there doing his charts. Crazy Nurse! Aaaahhhh! Oh no!


Ken feeding a little faux hawked Luka.

She was babbling on about whatever, asked me if I was "still weepy" (poking fun at me for crying about my sick child on the 2nd floor. Nice.), then she took off to tend to another crying baby. She came back a little later with that other baby in one hand, completely taken off of her wires and such. She as waving the baby around like it was a puppet or something. I shudder to think what kind of wild ride Luka was on with her when we weren't there. I do know we showed up the next morning, and Luka's shirt was covered in dried spit up because Crazy hadn't bothered to clean him or tend to him after a certain point in her night. Ken and I picture her talking on a telephone that's actually a banana. Bat Shit Crazy.

With that one exception, the nurses on the 7th floor were good about educating us on various baby things. That was nice. It was like having a two week training class for taking care of a baby. We learned different ways to burp him and swaddle him. Man, NICU nurses do the best swaddling. Nice and tight, like a baby cocoon. We were required to take an infant CPR class before we cold take him home, so that was helpful, too.

This is getting too long. Maybe I should do another "to be continued". I dunno if this is too boring for y'all. I just kind of wanted it for myself later, so I don't forget the experience.

thoughts on the birth and the NICU experience.

The first time I saw my little Lu, in the NICU.

Two months later, I am just starting to get my thoughts straight on just what the hell happened with Luka's birth. I mean, wow. What a whirlwind of crazy that was. So many emotions went with having an emergency birth and a new baby in critical condition, not to mention being hormonal. The biggest thing I dealt with personally was guilt. I kept blaming myself for his condition, as if I could have done something to prevent it. At the hospital, it was never really adequately explained why there was distress in utero. I was told that my placenta was calcified, but not why or how. After talking to my OB, I found out I have no risk factors for such a thing. I'm not a smoker, a drug user, no high blood pressure, my diabetes was well controlled. I was sure the diabetes had something to do with it, though my doctor insists it does not. He said that sometimes placentas start out not so great, then get worse as the pregnancy progresses. Still, all of Lu's paperwork has "gestational diabetes" listed as a maternal complication. I have had to work through the guilt though, as it is unfounded and doesn't do anyone any good. I had the best pregnancy I could have, and we have a beautiful kid to show for it. A quarter of a million dollar kid, to boot. Yes, his hospital bill, before insurance, is more than a quarter of a million dollars. We don't know exactly how much we owe yet. Not that it matters, because we aren't giving him back!

I've heard lots of people say that their birth plan went out the window when the birth actually happened. And it's true that you can't always plan things to a tee. And damn, did my plan ever go out the window! I planned for a natural birth, with lots of guided imagery and breathing, showers and back massages from my husband. I planned to breast feed immediately, and have our son stay in the hospital room with us for lots of immediate bonding. What I got instead was an unexpected emergency c-section, completely knocked out with general anesthesia. Followed by 24 hours of heavy sedation, unable to stand up to be carted to see my son in NICU, or even focus on what his doctor was telling me about his condition. The whole thing was so confusing and terrifying. I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't still pregnant, since I had no recollection of the birth. I found myself patting my belly and talking to him, not ready to accept that he was fighting for his life two floors beneath me.When my catheter was out and the morphine was wearing off, I finally was able to go see the little guy. I stood there by his tiny little hospital bed, looking a mess in my thrift store pajamas. I cried, and cried, and cried, while the nurse kept urging me to sit back down in the wheelchair. I asked questions about when Luka could come home, and how long it would be before I could hold him. All questions about his future were met with a brick wall. It hurt, and I know now that they weren't being mean, they just didn't want us to get our hopes up because they didn't know if Luka was going to be okay or not.


next entry, Lu's month in the NICU. Or, how not to take a nurse's shitty attitude personally.

onward.

silly little monkey

Luka is still doing good, I think. He's such a wee little guy, with flailing arms and wailing lungs. I toted him to the doctor today because he sounds congested and wheezy, and found out he has a either cold or allergies. Luckily, it's only in his sinuses, and his lungs are perfectly clear. He's been out of the hospital three weeks, and has been to the pediatrician three times so far! Geez. After his beginning, I don't want to take any chances and not take him if something seems up, though. I don't want to break him.

I've been taking Rough Start with me to work every day this week, and I manage to get about 9% of my work done. But he does like the Moby wrap for a little while at a time, so I can do some things hands-free. He's so dang cute in the wrap!


wrap it up, I'll take it


mom's-eye view in the wrap

His hair is hilarious and outta control. After we shampoo it and give it a towel dry, he looks like Christopher Walken.

I find myself staring at him all the time. Luka that is, not Christopher Walken. Haven't gotten tired of it, yet.

Home.

Luka's first week home has been pretty fun! I think he likes being here, and he's getting used to his new digs. Ken and I are enjoying getting to know him better, and trying to figure out this whole parenting thing day by day. Sleep deprivation is no picnic, but of course we were expecting that and we know it doesn't last forever. Multitasking has been harder than I expected, with things like trying to figure out when to eat, shower or pump milk when caring for the boy. How do people find the time to actually cook a meal? I can't imagine how a single parent gets along in the beginning without help! It's all good, though. We do spend a whole lot of time staring at him while he's sleeping, and singing to him when he's awake. Luka is damn adorable.

Lu has had one pediatrician appointment so far, and has another one scheduled tomorrow. His liver count needs checking since leaving the hospital, and they are keeping good track of his weight to see if we need to adjust any of his feedings. Last Monday he weighed 5lb 9oz, so hopefully he's even bigger tomorrow. At home his health seems okay, though he's struggling with acid reflux pretty bad. It's pretty common for infants, especially preemies. It's so hard to hear him gurgle and fuss, knowing it's because he's in pain from the reflux. He should grow out of it, but there is medicine he can take if it gets too bad. We have him sleeping on a slight incline to help a bit.

The cats are not completely thrilled with the new addition to our pack, but they're coming around. Moe gets irritated by the crying, and Miles seems to want to help. Either that, or he wants to eat Luka. We aren't sure which.

Okay, more soon when I have more sleep and can think straight!!